Prime suspect是小時候一直追的劇，一直追到第七季。一直把這部當成犯罪片看，看劇情的懸疑和helen mirren的瀟灑干練。雖然在她之前幾季打掉孩子那里，會有一點點揪心，但又想，這就是女人為事業(yè)該做出的犧牲吧。在那個時候的我心中，這就是職業(yè)女性該有的形象。
時隔N年，在忘記把下周要due的eunomia帶回家的周末，心安理得地決定再看一遍the final act。 可是，這一遍，卻感到一種前所未有的令人窒息的孤獨和壓抑。Jane作為探長，沒有親人（Pauline應該是一直嫉妒Jane的事業(yè)心的吧），沒有情人，沒有朋友（在這一季，她先失去了bill這個失而復得的老友，最后又終于失去了penny這個她本來以為會成為另一個她的prime suspect）。她的孤獨，只能用酒精去麻醉。那個我心中曾經(jīng)完美的職業(yè)女性形象，突然變成了一種警示 ：don't go that far, girl.
這讓我想到最近在追的另一部劇， silk。 劇中作為曼大畢業(yè)的像極了Jane那種平民又帥氣風格的律師女主必須要和牛劍畢業(yè)風流又迷人的男律師在同一間事務所競爭生存。里面也有意外懷孕的情結，只是這次，女主決定留下來自己…
看完了 Prime Suspect 的最后一集，誰能想到兇手居然是她呢！最終集的結尾部分非常簡潔，并不隆重。但是內容非常地動人，看得出是和之前的劇集有些不同的，Tennison在這一集表露了非常多的情感，尤其是她與 Penny 的一段對話，讓我落淚。 看的過程一如既往有些壓抑的，她這一生就這樣過去，沒有兒女，沒有伴侶，連父親死去的時候都找不到人說話，打電話給多年前一個對她性別歧視的下屬。She is strong yet weak at the same time. （寫于2016.1.14）
http://tvunderground.org.ru/index.php?show=episodes&sid=19100
Do not stand at my grave and weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
「I built this resentment against you. You know what I was like.
↓
I haven't forgotten.
↓
A chauvinistic bastard, you know. I tried to wreck your career. I interfered with your investigations.
↓
Oh, Bill. It's water under the bridge.
↓
No, no, no. I want to apologise. It's important. I need to do this. You know, back then I just couldn't handle a woman being my boss, you know. And I set out to hurt you. And I'm very sorry.
↓
Thank you.
↓
I never thought I'd say that.
↓
Neither did I.」
「I've got cancer. I'm dying. Can't you see?
↓
Yes, but you can't just accept it.
↓
I have accepted it. You're not doing this for me. You're doing this for youself. Because you feel guilty.」
「Don't call me ma'am. I'm not the bloody Queen.」
「You took her back to your dad's house. I mean, did you never think...?
↓
She stole my heart.」
「You…
《主要嫌疑犯7：最后一案》20幾歲和十幾歲的我的prime suspect （略矯情，慎入）
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